blog.myspace.com/danmidnight

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Dark Sky

In the night I stare
Inside my dark sky
I wish I could see the light
I wish I could believe again
I wish I could see hope in
A beautiful girl's eyes
Instead of my own dark self hate
Reflecting back at me
I sometimes wish that my body
Would show the wounds my
Heart and mind feels
People would understand me
And help carry me home.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006


I've been Tagged?? *fixed*

"Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about you". People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog."
6 weird things/habits about me:
Hmm, only 6 things?

1) I am near-sighted and could only see with any definition within about 2 feet or so and everything beyond that is a blur. My parents didn't have me checked until the end of middle school.

2) I have never had a girlfriend within my home state of California. I had to move to Baltimore, MD to be with my first girlfriend who I met on the internet.

3) I don't have a driver's license, I'm 33.

4) I'm better with indiviuals than groups.

5) I'm intensely shy person really.

6) I can remember lines to whole movies but I have trouble with people's names.

Tricia, Linda, Jess, Jessica, The Lost One, ~*Ceara*~

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Saturday, March 11, 2006


It's just me...

Everyone is depressed
Nobody knows why
Does everyone want to die?
Is it something in the water
Is it like cancer in our blood
Like a big grey blanket
Like rain from above
Is it anger and fear
Even from those we hold dear
It's a sickness in my heart
Turning my life into a march
Bleeding in my heart
Dripping in my shoes
Making the air smell of copper and brass
I want to push everything away
Everyone who knew me
Clear the way!
I just need to fall
Don't worry
It's just me...

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Friday, March 10, 2006


small thoughts

I never went to church when I was a kid.
Sometimes I thank my father's love of foodball for that.
Looking back on things I don't think I needed the threat
of biblical retribution to be a good person.
My parents were more into psychological warefare
than corporal punishment.
I have to thank comic books for not being an asshole.
Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America.
Captain Kirk, Sherlock Holmes, the Lone Ranger.
Their Coda: Help people out, don't be a prick.
Is that so hard?
Sometimes I wonder....

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006


A Letter


Dear Daniel,
I think it's about time we had a talk. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for along time. So, let's get this over with.
People don't really like you that much. Because you're shy and depressed all the time you throw off this "vibe" at people that, well, make them feel uncomfortable. This wouldn't impact your social life so much if you were good looking but that boat kinda sailed didn't it? And your sense of humor, how did you get so weird?
I know you notice this but someone just needed to tell you again. Y'see you shouldn't feel broken up when people don't invite you to parties or out for drinks because of all this (or even return your phonecalls). It's like trying to keep the clock from ticking. People only want to hang out with people like themselves. Like, people who go to church like having people around them that believe the same things they do. Young people like being with people their own age. People like you only get together with each other in movies, dude. Most people only give a shit about each other unless they want something. Nobody wants anything from you.
It's the natural way of things. The ciiiircle of liiiiiiffeeee!!
People your age have better jobs and families by now, even with the shitty economy. Hey, maybe if you were with the military!? You've lived in a military town for years, you should know this by now!
When people are cruel, don't look you in the eye, and generally dismissive to you you have to take this as them doing you a favor. I mean, between them and your general poor self esteem problems you'll be on the road to taking yourself out of the equation in no time. People want you out of their peripheral vision much less right in front of them acting weird.
Love? are you kidding me, don't make me laugh! Who would want you in the first place? That ship sailed when she threw you out for being too poor. Who would want a poor guy anyway, huh? A poor, depressed, fat, old, pasty-white fool. Hope is something you can't afford. It's not like you have the energy for hope or love, huh?
I hope this was helpfull to you. Don't feel so bad about things, Daniel, it doesn't do any good.
Sincerely,
The Human Race

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Stop Staring

Stop staring she said
Can't I look at you? I said
She won't take the praise I give her
Even if it's from my heart
She doesn't want my affection
She doesn't want the attention
I can't help how I feel
I've seen her at her worst
I've seen her mad and crying
I've seen her shout at traffic and flipping the bird
I am smitten
Heart has been bitten
By that bastard cupid
She looks at me in the eyes
And I can't disguise
All the mush and gush
Seeping out of me
My only wish
That this Dish
Felt the same about me
But she can't and
She won't
I can't rewind from my
Fall off the cliff
Now that there's
No-one
To catch me
Only the rocks below
Someone once said
"Pain Don't Hurt"
I beg to differ
Because I can't Stop
Staring

Currently listening :
Has Been
By William Shatner
Release date: By 05 October, 2004

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Sunday, February 26, 2006


Outside

Sometimes I wonder
What it would be like
To be "normal"?
Would It be like someone
Removed a tumor from my brain
Or being struck blind?
What if I went back in time
And corrected all the bad things
That happened to me?
What if I was taller and thinner?
What if I had gotten my glasses sooner
Instead of in high school?
What if I had
More friends?
What if I wasn't so
Shy?
If I was better looking
Would people be nicer
To me?
In a world like ours
You can be a bastard
And people will love you
If you're beautiful.
Nice guys always finish last
The outsider's view is important.
Even when it's cold
And lonely
Ouside.

Currently listening :
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
By The Flaming Lips
Release date: By 16 July, 2002

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Saturday, February 25, 2006


"Smile"

No light
Only dark
No fun
Empty room
No life
No love
Only Bordom
Time grinds on
Small wheels turn
Grinding things to dust
While we toss and turn
When tomorrow becomes today
We can't wait for tomorrow
If only I knew how to
Grab it all by the reins
Drag it down to the ground
Make it look me in the eye
And say "Smile"
Then let it all go.

D-

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Sunday, February 19, 2006


California
Current mood: depressed

It's been a year and change since I came back to you, and it's taken me that long to find that you haven't changed.
You are still a beauty in your cold mannered way.
Your blues that turn to granite in bad weather, your sandy yellows that scatter in the wind.
The east coast welcomed me until the love that sought me turned me away.
And now it's you and I again.
Like a crapped out gambler I come back to you.
To your polite smiles and averted eyes.
Your casual cruelty cuts me even deeper now.
I was always a mutant here, now it seems even more so.
Just not pretty enough or rich enough for you.
There is no love here for my starving heart.
I'm scarred by my maladroit ways.
Your beauty has damned me.
It's been a year since I came back to you, and I still love you even if you still hate me.
Bitch.

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Thursday, February 02, 2006


Warren Ellis's Podcast





(8.34 mins) (6.04 MB) (direct download)Pick up The Apparat Programme automatically via podcasty thing or iTunes using this address: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ApparatThis is Programme 9.5 because it's very short -- these were the last of the short standout songs in my podcast file. I am now all out of music.All music featured in this podcast was either donated directly to the Programme by the artists, or made available by the artists for free download and circulation. The running order for Programme 9.5 is:Kick Asteroid - "Don't Listen To Me" (1:57)Al Hotchkiss - "Sky Surfer" (1:59)Eric Siegel & Liam Warfield - "The Depths of the Stinking Canal" (2:03)Withiel - "You'll Be Glad (When I'm Dead)" (2:35)
Direct downloads of previous Programmes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

If you enjoyed the Apparat Programme, please spread the word, linking back to this post. Just one line in your blog and a link would help. Feel free to hotlink the Apparat stamp.I need new music. If you want your music to be included in an Apparat Programme, email your mp3 files directly to warrenellis@gmail.com.

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