The mercy seat

I'm deep into the dark cave that is the bad mood that has infected my soul.
This place hasn't changed, it's all glass and bad lighting reflected on my scalp reminding me of the hairline that I inherited from my father.
The people are self involved to the point of eyes and faces scrubbed clean from perfect manikins. It's the sickness in my heart made plain from coming back to this place. It's the ocean maybe. Large vast rolling pushing the space around like a ragdoll.
It's the sickness of the unwanted, the uninluded, the maladroit. The only people who want to have anything to do with you are a reflection on my ugly soul an they are few and far between.
The lack of sex is something I can deal with it's the loneliness that hurts the most. No-one wants to be with the awkward one, no one has the time or the energy to reach out to the lonely one.
Cellphones are an invention turned rotten and used as barriers to anyone outside their circle. Tribal warfare, non inclusion, the ugliness of the human race.
I fear I will be stuck with someone ugly for the rest of my life. I see it everyday. We all settle because we are alone and it brings out the desperation. Depression. A cold hand is a hand. Abuse is negative attention, but it IS attention.
I'm rambling because I get so tired I can't sleep. The minutes tick on and slip from fingers while my mind thinks to fill the time when the body begs for sleep. It's times like these I wish I drank like my grandfather.
I just want someone who understands the dark parts inside me, who will look at me with affection, and humor my "addictions"...

D-

Hell has frozen over

Go here, click on the link that says "Shepard Smith/Geraldo Rivera on Fox (.wmv 5.1 MB)"


When the most pro-Bush biased news network starts to make noise about how this Govt. of ours has dropped the ball in the wake of Katerina, like, wow.
Geraldo Rivera (and Shepard Smith) grows a set of testes...