I have a bottle of Jack Daniels Irish whiskey in the drawer of my desk. I got it this last Christmas and I haven't opened it yet.
I'd down the whole thing if I could wipe this feeling out of my head, my chest, my being.
I know it wouldn't do any good, I'd just get real dizzy and throw up all over my carpet. Or make this feeling even worse. That feeling that I'm gripping myself trying to hold it all together and there's no end on the horizon. I'd hate my life if I had the energy to hate anyone other than myself.
I'm so sick and tired of certain people in my life expecting more out of me than I have to give. I'm having trouble as it is keeping myself going in this... existence I've made for myself. Much less trying to make other people play step and fetch it for a machine that eats it's young.
My overall self loathing has made me a target of people furthering their own agendas. Parts of me have died inside because of where I am and what I have to do. I can't give anymore, I'm so tired of being a joke, of being unworthy of love, I don't know what to do.
I've never been a religious man, nothing has shown me otherwise. Hope is a wishing well that never delivers anything but empty pockets.
Sorry to bother you, move along, nothing to see here.
D-
I'd down the whole thing if I could wipe this feeling out of my head, my chest, my being.
I know it wouldn't do any good, I'd just get real dizzy and throw up all over my carpet. Or make this feeling even worse. That feeling that I'm gripping myself trying to hold it all together and there's no end on the horizon. I'd hate my life if I had the energy to hate anyone other than myself.
I'm so sick and tired of certain people in my life expecting more out of me than I have to give. I'm having trouble as it is keeping myself going in this... existence I've made for myself. Much less trying to make other people play step and fetch it for a machine that eats it's young.
My overall self loathing has made me a target of people furthering their own agendas. Parts of me have died inside because of where I am and what I have to do. I can't give anymore, I'm so tired of being a joke, of being unworthy of love, I don't know what to do.
I've never been a religious man, nothing has shown me otherwise. Hope is a wishing well that never delivers anything but empty pockets.
Sorry to bother you, move along, nothing to see here.
D-
