Song of the Sausage Creature by Hunter S. Thompson
"There are some things nobody needs in this world, and a bright red, hunchback, warp-speed 900cc cafe racer is one of them -- but I want one anyway, and on some days I actually believe I need one. That is why they are dangerous..."
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Maxim Online's Girlfriend of the Day Erika Christensen
Breast gal:
"I'm more proud of my upper body. Let's just say I'm a typical female in that way."
batman_batsignal.jpg (JPEG Image, 532x371 pixels)
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Fear and Loathing in Monterey Bay
I have found that when you live in another place other that the one you've known all your life you see things a little different.
I lived for a little under a year in a little town near Baltimore, Maryland. It was a lower to middle-class town. The type of places that white people moved to when the city got too congested for them. There were large factories that all dried out around the place. Retired people, the working poor, white trash, black folks trying to find someplace safe to live.
I come from a place of ethnic diversity. Every color of the rainbow can be found within Cali's borders. Viet-Namese, Chinese, Pacific Islanders, Koreans, More Mexican that you can swing a dead Chihuihia at, East Indians, etc. Baltimore seemed to me like Blacks and variations on White. In that way it was kinda nice, I mean, you didn't have to speak Spanish to order McDonald's. It was strange to live in a place where English was the primary language.
When I'd tell people I was from California their first reaction was "why the hell are you here?" I would say variations on "I fell in love with a girl..." (cue The White Stripes here)
The weather where I'm from in CA is very temperate. I've lived near the pacific ocean all my life. If it's too hot, the fog will come in by sundown. Baltimore's summers nearly drove me mad. Walking to the bus stop in 90 degree heat with 100 percent humidity is the fiery drizzle-shits my friend. I could feel the sweat collecting in the small of my back as I stood there in my work clothes waiting for that #4 bus. As for the winters, I didn't mind the snow at all. Getting around was a bitch sometimes but watching it fall from the sky was magic to me.
The people are different too. People in Baltimore actually wanted to get to know me. This one boggled my mind. In Cali I've always been the one that never got the second glance. I made friends there I hope I'll always have. Here I've never been lucky enough to find a friend who didn't turn out to be a total jackass. Hell, I lost my best friend when my girlfriend decided to go back to her ex...
After the break up I thought that coming back to Cali would clear my head and maybe put me on the path to something new. Now I'm not so sure. When you live with your parents you fall back into old behaviors. The me that was on the east Coast living-w/-Girlfriend is turning into the guy-living-with-Parents. It doesn't help matters that I got deposited into the employment dead zone of the year. Nobody is hiring, ok, nobody worth a shit is hiring. If I could get a job at a bookstore I would die a happy guy. I've put in so many apps I'm beginning to think they have it out for me. That there is a secret society of bookstore managers that meet in secret in a hollowed out bunker on the former Fort Ord. Dressed like evil minions from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer they plot and plan.
"He want to work around books and magazines and has too much retail experience! Thus, it never Shall Be!" ( cue thunder ) "We shall hire people with nose rings and don't know Edgar Allen Poe from David Allen Coe!" Bwahahahahahahahahahahah
*Ahem*
I guess I'll have to learn to love the bootheel of the retail/hospitality business pressed up against the fleshy part of my neck. Smile and bite the pillow as I surrender myself to my corporate masters. I will hate their fucking guts until the day that I die and I will never let them have my soul. The Swine. They Will Never Win.
D-
I lived for a little under a year in a little town near Baltimore, Maryland. It was a lower to middle-class town. The type of places that white people moved to when the city got too congested for them. There were large factories that all dried out around the place. Retired people, the working poor, white trash, black folks trying to find someplace safe to live.
I come from a place of ethnic diversity. Every color of the rainbow can be found within Cali's borders. Viet-Namese, Chinese, Pacific Islanders, Koreans, More Mexican that you can swing a dead Chihuihia at, East Indians, etc. Baltimore seemed to me like Blacks and variations on White. In that way it was kinda nice, I mean, you didn't have to speak Spanish to order McDonald's. It was strange to live in a place where English was the primary language.
When I'd tell people I was from California their first reaction was "why the hell are you here?" I would say variations on "I fell in love with a girl..." (cue The White Stripes here)
The weather where I'm from in CA is very temperate. I've lived near the pacific ocean all my life. If it's too hot, the fog will come in by sundown. Baltimore's summers nearly drove me mad. Walking to the bus stop in 90 degree heat with 100 percent humidity is the fiery drizzle-shits my friend. I could feel the sweat collecting in the small of my back as I stood there in my work clothes waiting for that #4 bus. As for the winters, I didn't mind the snow at all. Getting around was a bitch sometimes but watching it fall from the sky was magic to me.
The people are different too. People in Baltimore actually wanted to get to know me. This one boggled my mind. In Cali I've always been the one that never got the second glance. I made friends there I hope I'll always have. Here I've never been lucky enough to find a friend who didn't turn out to be a total jackass. Hell, I lost my best friend when my girlfriend decided to go back to her ex...
After the break up I thought that coming back to Cali would clear my head and maybe put me on the path to something new. Now I'm not so sure. When you live with your parents you fall back into old behaviors. The me that was on the east Coast living-w/-Girlfriend is turning into the guy-living-with-Parents. It doesn't help matters that I got deposited into the employment dead zone of the year. Nobody is hiring, ok, nobody worth a shit is hiring. If I could get a job at a bookstore I would die a happy guy. I've put in so many apps I'm beginning to think they have it out for me. That there is a secret society of bookstore managers that meet in secret in a hollowed out bunker on the former Fort Ord. Dressed like evil minions from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer they plot and plan.
"He want to work around books and magazines and has too much retail experience! Thus, it never Shall Be!" ( cue thunder ) "We shall hire people with nose rings and don't know Edgar Allen Poe from David Allen Coe!" Bwahahahahahahahahahahah
*Ahem*
I guess I'll have to learn to love the bootheel of the retail/hospitality business pressed up against the fleshy part of my neck. Smile and bite the pillow as I surrender myself to my corporate masters. I will hate their fucking guts until the day that I die and I will never let them have my soul. The Swine. They Will Never Win.
D-
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Doomed on Fire
Just saw "Man On Fire" again earlier this evening. It's a great movie. The first time I saw it was in Baltimore, I was with my ex. We had the choice of seeing "Troy", that vampire movie with Hugh Jackman, and this one. Although I never ended up seeing the other movies I'm glad I saw this one. Several lessons could be learned from this.
1) Denzel Washington blows things up real good.
2) When a person who has nothing to live for finds something that's worth dying over and you happen to be the poor bastard who stands in his way: Run.
3) Mexico City is a dangerous place.
4) Marc Anthony will wish he blew his head off for real after living w/ J.Lo for a couple years.
I watched it with the Parents, they have lived in California all their life. They have what you could say as a "skewed" view of people who have moved here from Mexico. I guess anybody could when Mariachi music wakes you up at 4 am in the morning or it gets harder and harder to find an english language station on their radio.
In my view there are three kinds of people, nice people, assholes, and the truly evil. If I wrote the bible it would have two words in it: Be Good. This doesn't mean walking around w/a smile plastered to you face or follow any commandment written a million effing years ago.
"Don't be an asshole" I guess would be the next commandment after that.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, Good movie.
D-
1) Denzel Washington blows things up real good.
2) When a person who has nothing to live for finds something that's worth dying over and you happen to be the poor bastard who stands in his way: Run.
3) Mexico City is a dangerous place.
4) Marc Anthony will wish he blew his head off for real after living w/ J.Lo for a couple years.
I watched it with the Parents, they have lived in California all their life. They have what you could say as a "skewed" view of people who have moved here from Mexico. I guess anybody could when Mariachi music wakes you up at 4 am in the morning or it gets harder and harder to find an english language station on their radio.
In my view there are three kinds of people, nice people, assholes, and the truly evil. If I wrote the bible it would have two words in it: Be Good. This doesn't mean walking around w/a smile plastered to you face or follow any commandment written a million effing years ago.
"Don't be an asshole" I guess would be the next commandment after that.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, Good movie.
D-
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