Thursday, December 25, 2008

49ers - Throwback Jerseys, Porn 'Staches

The 49ers will lead the league in upper lip hair on Sunday -

"...But this Sunday, when the 49ers put on their throwbacks for their season
finale against the Redskins, I might feel differently. Because not only will the
throwback decor adorn the heads, torsos, and legs of the 49ers ... they're also
going throwback with
their upper lips
.


They're all growing mustaches for the game.


It's the most beautiful damn thing I've ever heard. From
SFGate.com
:"


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

...and so it begins.

Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down - Yahoo! News

NEW YORK – A Wal-Mart worker was killed Friday after an "out of control" throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains broke down the doors at a suburban store and knocked him to the ground, police said.


At
least four other people, including a woman eight months pregnant, were
taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.


Nassau police said about 2,000 people were gathered outside the store doors at the mall about 20 miles east of Manhattan.
The impatient crowd knocked the man to the ground as he opened the
doors, leaving a metal portion of the frame crumpled like an accordion.


"This crowd was out of control," said Nassau police spokesman Lt. Michael Fleming. He described the scene as "utter chaos."


Dozens
of store employees trying to fight their way out to help the man were
also getting trampled by the crowd, Fleming said. Witnesses said that
even as the worker lay on the ground, shoppers streamed into the store,
stepping over him.


Kimberly Cribbs, who witnessed the stampede, said shoppers were acting like "savages."


"When
they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people
were yelling 'I've been on line since yesterday morning,'" she said.
"They kept shopping."


A what with a what-what?

Ballad of Big Nothing

I could go off on a rant about whatever it is that's tearing at my frontal lobe right now. I could throw a general sense of self loathing, sexual frustration, and depression in a big ol' pot and let it fester on the screen like a plate of pasta thrown against a wall. I could do that, and have done that all quite well in the past. And probably will again.
But tonight I have a few kinds of alcohol flowing through my bloodstream and my eyes feel like sandboxes the neighborhood dogs have had their way with. So, I'm not going to do it. Just not gonna. Because no one, least of all me, want to hear about it. No one wants to hear me whine about my outcast state and neurosis that have lead up to this very minute in time. Not a goddamn person, nope.
I'm supposed to be stoic and absorb everything like a good soldier and turn the pages until I die of old age. Take your uncomfortable looks and distaste and shove them up your ass. You're all scum, just like me.
The End.

D-

Going Hungry

Ah but don't go home with your hard-on

It will only drive you insane

You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown

You can't melt it down in the rain

                                                       
- Leonard Cohen


   Having a female friend, and especially attractive one, is kind of like being in a bakery in the morning. When you can smell the fresh hot bread, and cakes and donuts. The warmth of it all filling you with hunger and...warmness.
   And you leave with nothing.
   Other with the memory of how it felt to be around it all and the gnawing emptiness in the pit of your stomach. You get everything but the satisfaction that filling that hunger with what it needs. It all looks so beautiful you almost feel guilty for wanting to eat it after a while. You rationalize it every night. Try to out think the growling in your stomach and try to sleep.
   It must be what that part in the bible about "coveting thy neighbors wife" came from. You want what you can't have. Wanting someone who doesn't want you "that way". Not close enough to be ...close enough. Maybe it's true about men and women not being able to be true friends. One of them inevitably goes home with their hard on.

D-

funny haha (from teh interwebz)