Fear, Hugs, and Kisses.

These are the kind of nights when I don't know literally whether I'll see daylight.
Everytime I try to Live, life has a way of slapping me down like a dog who shat on the floor.
What I did today is literally a coin-flip of coming out good or very, very bad.
God help me I wish I knew so I could sleep tonite.
I kissed someone that wasn't my ex-girlfriend tonite.
I'm afraid and stimulated at the same time and it's scary.
We had become friends at work, we shared stories about out breakups and heart-aches.
We talked for hours on AIM, her life quite a soap opera.
I offered council and told her about my life.
I walked her out to her car tonite and we talked a little, I gave her a hug.
The hug lasted a long time, and out of my mouth came the words that neither came from my head or my dick.
"May I kiss you?"
She said :" Do you want to?"
I said "Yes."
And we kissed.
She had soft lips and her mouth tastes nice and we shared the same kind of hunger that lonely people do.
It lasted for ages it seemed. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my parent's truck parked out in front of the store.
"Oh god, my ride's here." I said.
We shared goodbyes and I walked over to the truck.
I felt lighter and and dazed.
I had a conversation on the way home only half of which I remember.
She said she's be online tonite, I've been online since 12:30 am.
It's 2 am now.
Her absence makes me afraid I did the wrong thing, that I was a fool.
A lonely fool just wanting to feel something after being alone for so long.
I hope I can sleep tonite.

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Current Mix CD

Elliott Smith :Unreleased (From A Basement On The Hill II)
The Donnas - Gold Medal
The Dandy Warhols -Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia
Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary [2005]
Jets to Brazil - Orange Rhyming Dictionary
Spoon - Gimme Fiction
The Harvey Girls
The Unicorns - Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone
The Go! Team - Thunder Lightning Strike (2004)

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