I once took one of those Eharmony personality tests, they told me they had no matches for me. Hell, I could have told them that.
I have a gloomy outlook when it comes to finding someone to love here in California. I have never really fit in here, I know I was somewhat deluded in thinking I would be the same person here I was there, in Baltimore.
I've looked at the personals @yahoo.com, the thought of reaching out to any of these people is scary. I've always been different, neurotic, had odd thoughts and practices. Edgar Alan Poe or Bill Hicks could only have been laid if they were rich & or famous. I've found out the hard way that funny, smart, and loving can only work for so long. Then the bill comes due. If you don't have anything in your pockets but a worn out library card, some spare change, a pocket knife, and a Batman key chain you might as well buy a copy of Playboy and some aloe vera handlotion. I hope everyday that this is just one relationship that's going to end this way and it's just the exception. That woman aren't just after the things my ex was.
I just got the new Playboy yesturday if you're curious...
Who would I want if I could choose? Maybe someone who is the opposite of me in some ways but the same in others. Someone who will bang the dings out of my chassis, make me feel whole and a part of the world. A nerd, a geek, smarter than me but yet stupid enough to be with me. lol
Someone younger than me when I feel old. Someone who wants to play with me and my dirty mind. Someone thinner than me so she can ride ontop. Someone who wants to fuck me and suck me and someone I want to fuck and suck ('cause I love making a woman cum, goddamn it's been too long)
.
Someone who looks at me and smiles when she sees me. Is it so much to ask?
HAH, maybe so....
D-
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