I lay awake in bed and dread the next day wishing I were someone else. I've become so tired of being me and of doing what I have to do, day after day, and some of the people I have to put up with. And being so afraid of doing anything else. I'm so locked in to what I call my life I feel trapped. I hate feeling trapped even though there is a certain sense of security in "the devil you know".
Getting drunk never helps, it makes the moods seem worse. Sex would help take the edge off, but not having a partner makes that impossible. My meds would just keep me awake this time of night. No one I know is up this late to talk to.
Any other alternative, well, would be too permanent to mention here. Not that the thoughts don't cross my mind more than once.
The lyric from that old Metallica song "One" comes to mind.
"Hold my breath as I wish for death"
Real cheery, no?
(That was a rhetorical question)
I'll get back to the funny cartoon when I have time.
D-
Getting drunk never helps, it makes the moods seem worse. Sex would help take the edge off, but not having a partner makes that impossible. My meds would just keep me awake this time of night. No one I know is up this late to talk to.
Any other alternative, well, would be too permanent to mention here. Not that the thoughts don't cross my mind more than once.
The lyric from that old Metallica song "One" comes to mind.
"Hold my breath as I wish for death"
Real cheery, no?
(That was a rhetorical question)
I'll get back to the funny cartoon when I have time.
D-
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